jillian this is for fondly, sincerely

dear intensity,

you didn't make me write a book.

instead i think you made me cry

in someone else's car once

when the person wasn't there.

we made omelets in my apartment, i think.

it felt sad. i didn't know what was wrong.

if i go to see a movie with you,

i will feel upset the whole time.

i will want to leave but won't know what else to do.

we would probably want to wreck the car

but just get ice cream instead.

i think once we were in bed and it didn't make any sense

how angry we both were.

let's not worry as much about feeling okay

for once.

i don't want to know what you were thinking

when we actually were in a car wreck

and it felt boring more than anything else

when no one was hurt or upset or crying.

sometimes you make it very difficult to get dressed.

buttoning a shirt, looking at a mirror, tying shoes.

i just thought you should know

that i feel like you are always joking.