8/13/08

sometimes people dislike you and still care intensely about what you are doing

this seems to happen a lot. i don't know what people like this are thinking.

if people are not 'interested' in your 'style of writing' or whatever, i don't know why they want to pay attention to you.

i feel 'intense uninterest' if i don't like something. i find it 'severely impossible' to keep reading writing that i don't like. i don't know.

sometimes i can read things for other reasons i guess. i can read 'expansively' in order to identify what i like and don't like. i have read a lot of things i don't like. i feel like my 'relationship' with these things is the same as 'defining something by what it's not' or something.

i mean, i do not have 'positively formulated opinions of these things' i guess. i don't know. that might be wrong.

i feel like i dislike the things i dislike and that is as far as it goes. those things are not inside my realm of concern, or something.

i don't understand people who appear tremendously concerned about stuff they don't like. i feel like they must be extremely frustrated or something.

if i see something and i don't like it and i am in a 'normal state of mind' i would not yell at it, i'm certain.

i would keep going until i found something i liked or i would just do something else.

how do shit-talkers not just check their email or make something to eat instead?

i feel 'baffled' by their motivation.

they are bored i guess. they are frustrated. they will take a lot of time to look at something they don't like and then complain.

they will maintain 'amazingly high levels of interest and aggravation' which will somehow not cancel each other out. it is 'admirable' or something. i am serious, i think.

i don't know. i am a 'hypocrite' i'm sure. i think maybe i do all of these things i just described when i am complaining about a movie i don't like. i think i can get very 'foolish' and go 'on and on' when i dislike a movie that for some reason i care about.

why do i care about some movies that i really dislike?

even when i am doing this myself i still feel confused. it doesn't make any sense. it makes sense, probably. i don't know.